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Gaylene says i should blog.

she says i have plenty to say and i seem to have a built-in audience on facebook. i assured her that it is not me, but my daughter Serena who is the one with the fan club. holy shitballs.

i posted a photo of the two of us this evening and i think we are up to 70 comments.

she is pretty cute.

she's asleep now, thank christ.

so tired.

on the weekend i bought her a Phil & Ted's Lobster chair and attached it to my kitchen table. she hates it and fusses to be taken out of it a few minutes after i put her in, but this is a battle i intend to win. anyway, attaching it meant that i had to reconfigure the kitchen seating, so now i'm facing the back door instead of the mini kitchen tv where i lose myself in Jimmy Fallon and a honkin' glass of wine every night.

so tonight i blog instead...

i just got caught up on my friend Julie's blog (TO DO WITH JUL). she wrote the most simple and beautiful account of the birth of her son Gus a month ago. i swear it made me cry.

the play by play of her labour and delivery and the peaceful love and support she felt was really touching. the way she describes her husband Rich whispering to her is lovely.

made me so jealous. (kidding.) (sort of.)

mine was nothing like that. while i did have a lot of love and support from my friends, family and doula, i did not have a partner. now, most of the time i don't mind being single. but if there's ever a time in your life when you lament it, it's when you're about to give birth. trust me. it sucks.

but...six months have passed since then, and i am too in love and way too busy with my daughter to spend much time thinking about it. and the pride i feel for doing what i do every single day and night virtually by myself helps to mitigate any loneliness i might feel.

oh. gotta jet. Jimmy Fallon is on.